Ko Tao Island Sunset - Birthday location this year |
Every year around my birthday, I unconsciously start to
reflect until it comes up to the conscious. I review the year assessing what I
did, what I accomplished, what I would like to improve and things I wasn’t so
crazy about. It takes different forms every year but it is starting to be more
of a constant formula, especially as I write and journal more often. Some of
these things are just for me, some I like to share.
31 was certainly a big year for me in the travel department
(more on that later). It was a year of transition and upheaval personally and
career wise. I made some hard and some believe, crazy decisions, but they were
mine and I own them. I am a pragmatic person and each decision is not arrived
at easily. Each decision is labored over and mulled until there is nothing left
of it, except hopefully my truth. This year my decisions didn’t just affect me
(I guess this is always the case really), they had a ripple affect with people
I love. While I still hold some guilt around that particular aspect of certain
decisions, I still believe that they were right for me and what I needed to do.
Grand Canyon |
I am blessed to have
travel be a huge part of my life, especially right now. 31 was a whopper of a
year for travel. I traveled for a total of 193 days (not including local
weekend trips and miscellaneous day trips at home) while I was 31. I visited 8 new
countries and revisited some favorites. I trekked in the Himalayas and thought I might
die (read more here), went inside of Stonehenge, I saw the Grand Canyon for the first time, I visited the
Angkor Wat temple complex, went inside a “dormant” volcano and visited my first
ever tropical island. My new countries included Nepal, Bhutan, Singapore,
Malaysia, Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, and Cambodia. I made return visits to
Ireland, UK, Austria, Italy and Germany. And I visited two new states in theU.S., Arizona and Oregon. I’d say that’s
a pretty good year in travel!
Bangkok - Giant Buddha - Wat Pho Temple |
This year I read a book that changed the way I look at
myself and how I interact in the world. That book was “Quiet” by SusanCain. I haven’t had a book affect me
like that in ages. It opened me up and read from my inner psyche like it was
common knowledge. Besides being incredibly well researched, it is compassionate
and teaches compassion for all types of people through its pages. I’m not sure
if that was part of her intention, but it is something I read between the
lines. I would recommend it to anyone. It is good for just about everyone,
introverts, extroverts, and people trying to understand other people in their
interpersonal relationships.
Koh Rong Island, Cambodia - First tropical island visit! |
During my year of transition I faced some pretty big personal
fears, ones I would never admit out loud before. I posted a list of them on the
front door to my apartment so I could look at them each day, reflect and see if
I couldn’t find a way to overcome at least one of them, if not more. This is an
ongoing battle. Fear and insecurity, as one would expect, follow you on the
road and if you let them, they can take you hostage. (When you travel alone
your psyche can be your best friend or your worst enemy.) I keep the more
common ones at bay by having a regular conversation with myself about them. Fears
are one part lie, one part small truths that get blown up out of proportion and
one part legitimate. I take each one through its courses to see which it really
is. If there is nothing to be done about it, sometimes I’ll shelve it until a
different time. The ones that I can, I work on. The best example (that I am
willing to share) from this year is pretty recent but has taken years to reach,
and that is my snake fear. I actually looked at one in person! (If you follow
me on Facebook, you may have seen this already. If you don’t follow me, head on
over and like the page!) Battling insecurities and fears is a life-long battle
I am engaged in. I’m happy to say I chipped a minuscule piece off the block this
year.
Mediation Moment - Glendalough, Ireland |
Every year I draw breath, I learn. This year was no
different. I learned that I have less figured out than ever before, and that
might just be ok. I learned that I’m less attached to my “stuff” than I
thought. I learned that no matter how much love and support you have, the one
naysayer can still sometimes get through and corrupt your thoughts if you let
them. I learned that even though I am scared to share what I write most of the
time, I am compelled, in my being, to do it. I learned that sometimes you can forget what
you are capable of until a particular situation arises again. I learned that I
can still surprise myself. I learned that parts of you really can go to sleep
if you let them. I re-learned the compassion of strangers. I learned that I get
dehydrated very easily. I learned that when I don’t do yoga, I am a much less
tolerable person. I learned to accept my introversion as tool instead of
something to be worked against. I learned that although I see the world for the
most part in grays, there are some areas that always find a way to be black and
white to me, and that’s not always a good thing. I re-learned that what will
always matter most to me is those I love, past, present and future.
Two of my favorite people, at one of my favorite places on earth, doing one of my favorite things, sunset watching. One of the great memories from this year. |
Above all, I am grateful this year. For each opportunity, for health, for travel and for the people I love.
(And for a private room every now and then J )
Thanks for reading!